As a public service, the Fellowship of the Sun releases reports of missing persons in which vampire involvement is suspected. On June 3, 2009, the disappearance of one Ellie Beckett was announced on the FoS site. Recently we received the following note from Ellie's parents:

Dear Reverend and Mrs. Newlin:

Thank you so much for your help in trying to bring our Ellie home. We too are people of faith, which is what makes it so difficult for us to write this. While we at first feared that Ellie had been killed by vampires, possibly for uncovering some kind of secret with her graduate research, it appears something even more tragic may have happened. Shortly after circulating her photo and story online, we began receiving emails from folks all around her region, many of whom claimed to have seen Ellie at various vampire bars and clubs. At first, it gave us hope that our little girl was still alive — thoughtlessly pursuing her university project while her parents worried themselves sick, but alive nonetheless. And then someone sent us this picture. While the person who took the photo swears it is Ellie — and as much as this creature resembles our little girl — we just can't be 100 percent sure. So we are refusing to give up hope. If there's any chance that Ellie is still alive, we're committed to finding her. Please, continue to send any information you can — with God's help, we may still be able to bring her home safely.

Sincerely,
Ron and Janine Beckett

Obviously, the legislation that limits the alcohol and tobacco industries has yet to trickle down to the synthetic blood market.

This Tru Blood commercials sends a dangerous message directly to consumers: Not only is cavorting with vampires safe — it's fun!

Any company that so blatantly ignores public safety needs to be regulated.

Every Godly person can tell you that the Internet is a haven for perverts and flesh-peddlers.

Still, there's something deeply troubling about the young women in this video, cheerfully displaying the marks that vampires have left on their bodies.

Would an abused wife proudly show off the bruises her husband inflicted on her? Disgusting.

DALLAS — Reverend Steve Newlin, pastor of the Fellowship of the Sun congregation, one of the fastest growing pro-living evangelical movements in the world, today announced his campaign to Save Human Marriage.

"There is a new storm gathering," Newlin said in announcing the effort. "A storm more devastating to our way of life than anything human kind has seen before — legalized vampire marriage."

Joined by his wife, Sarah, Newlin laid out the Fellowship's plans for a comprehensive effort to pass legislation defining legal marriage as "a union between two humans, with a minimum of two sexes." The campaign will include rallies, speaking engagements, church jamborees and marches, as well as lobbying and grassroots organizing.

"The Lord said go forth and multiply," Newlin said. "He did not say go forth and start turning. What is at stake here is our children. Our future. Our very way of life."

Newlin also warned that existing law violates the constitutional separation of church and state. "If current legislation is allowed to remain in place, members of the clergy will be forced to conduct inter-species marriages — sullying houses of worship with the unholy union of human and the undead."

Newlin will kick off the campaign with a slate of speaking engagements; a formal launch is expected at a rally later this month.

Watch: "Who Needs Marriage? A Reflections of Light Video" now.